Wednesday 26th and Thursday 27th September 1832

Wednesday 26th September 1832

Incurred a cross thinking of Miss Walker.

Then called to inquire if Miss Walker was returned – yes! last night – sat with her from 12 50/.. to 2 20/.. – she had brought me a presse-papier from the marble works at Kendal – 

Very civil our conversation, quite confidential and we really get on very well, yet she said she could not go to Italy. They give old Washington seventy pounds a year and young ditto the same for the management of the property – 

Went in to my aunt – found Miss Walker’s servant had been for her books came upstairs and wrote a note to go with them by John tonight – dated 5 1/2 p.m Wednesday 26 September ‘Ten thousand apologies’ – know what a disappointment this sort of thing is about books – sorry and annoyed – thinks – ‘May I keep Paris a little longer’ … ‘I found myself very busy on my return, from having played truant so unexpectedly long with you – besides, you always give me so much to think of afterwards, that it is long after I have actually left you, before my mind seems disengaged – perhaps had this been less true, I should have been at home sooner – do pray forgive me before morning - Jameson, ii 493 ‘[auct] on antique marbles’ – ‘May I beg for my press-paper – now that you have given it me, I am impatient to have it – very truly yours A Lister’ – sent off this note 2 2/3 pages of 1/2 sheet by John at 7 1/2 with the books.

Thursday 27th September 1832

Off to Lidgate at 7 1/2 – along the high road and at Lidgate at 8 – Miss Walker ready to receive me and breakfast almost immediately – sat talking about an hour over the breakfast table then adjourned to the other and were just going out about 12 1/2 when Mrs Stansfield and Miss Delia Rawson called (from Gledholt near Huddersfield, 7 miles off) call and staid an hour – Miss Walker glad I had sat them out – dined with her at 2 and at 3 1/4 we were off for her to see my walk – walked slowly by the new road and Lower Brea and sauntered to nearly the Hall Wood gate in my walk – then on returning rested in the hut and must have sat there about a couple of hours – walked home with her at 5 50/.. in 40 minutes and back in 1/2 hour or less at 2 or 3 minutes before 7.

Miss W and I very cozy and confidential. On parting she said she knew not when she had spent so pleasant a day, I believe her. She sat and in the moss house hardly liking to move, of course I made myself agreeable and I think she already likes me even more than she herself is aware. She seemed pleased at my reminding her of our walk ten years ago by hilltop etc. when I had joked about her going abroad. Said it had always been my intention to make the offer more seriously as soon as I could, that she must remember I had always been in the same strain, that I had never joked anyone else in the same way and I hoped she would now understand that I was more serious than she supposed. She said her uncle and aunt Atkinson had said I should get her abroad but that she had told them oh no, it was all joke. Ah said I, then they understood me better than you did. She had told me before that she was always told I was not to be depended on, I successfully parried this and she believes me. 

We talked of the Priestleys etc. I dexterously giving her to understand that she would turn me quite, I consulted with her in all frankness of confidence what I should about the French maid etc. talked to her about planting trees at Shibden etc. etc. said how much good change of climate would do her and I now really believe she will go with me! She seems to take all I say for gospel. Advised to fight shy of the Harveys when they come to Crow Nest, not to enter into dinner visits with them and infact she seems inclined to follow my advice implicitly. She consults me about her affairs said she was sure people never meant us to get together, that Mrs Stansfield Rawson looked odd on finding me there and in short we congratulated ourselves that chance and Doctor Kenny (I always thank her for the kindness of telling me the plot to catch Marian) had made us better acquainted. 

She said she would call on my aunt on Monday, I to meet her between nine and ten. I really did feel rather in love with her in the hut and as we returned, I shall pay due court for the next few months and after all, I really think I can make her happy and myself too. 

Well said I to myself as I left her, she is more in for it than she thinks, she likes me certainly. We laughed at the idea of the talk our going abroad together would, she said it would be as good as a marriage, yes, said quite as good or better. She falls into my views of things admirably, I believe I shall succeed with her, if I do I will really try to make her happy and I shall be thankful to heaven for the mercy of bringing me home. Having first saved me from Vere, rid me of Mariana, and set me at liberty. We shall have money enough, she will look up to me and soon feel attached, and I after all my turmoils shall be steady and if god so wills it happy. If Vere had rank and was more charming, she would have always thought she did me a favour and Mariana has annoyed me too often. I can gently mould Miss W to my wishes? And may we not be happy, how strange the fate of things! If after all my companion for life should be Miss Walker, she was nine and twenty a little while ago, how little my aunt or anyone suspects what I am about! Nor shall it be surmised till all settled. 

Original diary page:
Part 1 - https://www.catalogue.wyjs.org.uk/CalmView/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&id=CC00001%2f7%2f9%2f6%2f15%2f121&pos=1

Part 2 - https://www.catalogue.wyjs.org.uk/CalmView/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&id=CC00001%2f7%2f9%2f6%2f15%2f122&pos=1