Go On, Fearlessly

Wednesday 3 October 1832 Lay awake an hour and a half thinking of Miss Walker. I really do get more and more in  love with her, not perhaps a little heightened by the having to wait her answer for the next six  months. She has really behaved very judiciously for I believe she likes me – Just sent off John to Lidgate with a brace of Isabella Norcliffe’s partridges for Miss Walker - Thursday 4 th   October 1832   At Lidgate in 1/2 hour, at 10  and staid till John Priestley came at two. She started as difficulties  the not living at Cliff Hill and my intimacy with the William Priestley's, she should do as she liked  about the former. It was herself, it was person not place I bared for and as soon as all was  settled my giving up the P's was easy and not ural, this said she seemed reconciled and satisfied.  I said I would listen to no difficulty but the pre engagement of her own heart, she  declared it not engaged and talked of letting the Ainsleys have Cliff Hill a

Sunday 30 th  September 1832 Awake at five and from then to getting up lay thinking of Miss W. At nine incurred the  cross I really am getting much more in love than I expected to be again infact she likes  me it is evident and I think we shall be very happy together. Monday 1 st  October 1832 Out again at 9 1/4 – along the walk by Lower Brea and the New Road to meet Miss Walker  and met her near Hipperholme Lane ends at 9 50/60 – we rested in the hut, and she being not  quite strong and well (obliged to go out of afternoon church yesterday in the middle of the service) advised her  not going father and walked home with her –   We sat from a little past ten to ten minutes  to four, sign she was not tired of my company. I said my aunt had questioned me and that  I had really owned her suspicions were right, that I could make good excuse for her Miss W  and thought she had better call another day when both parties would be prepared to receive each  other more at ease,

Saturday 29th September 1832 Said would call  on the other Miss Walker instead – at Lidgate at 2 5/.. – Miss Walker had dined and would go with  me to Cliff Hill, if I could wait till 4 – sat talking till off at 4 3/4 found Miss  Walker at home glad to see us, and persuaded us to stay tea – came away at 7 – sat 1/2 hour with  Miss Walker at Lidgate, and home in 1/2 hour at 8 1/4 –  We now get on beautifully, I obscurely love  making and she all smiles, said I felt sure of my own happiness and I might be eqully so of hers. O h she was sure of hers, but had been thinking last night whether she could make me happy and  be a companion for me, she said how happy she now felt and looked so. As we sat on the sofa   I joked her about being so formal in not taking cream till I had helped myself, she smiled and  she would not do so at home but her aunt would have been astonished if she had not done as she  did. In moralizing a little on how much we had both to be thankful for, how happ

Friday 28th September 1832 Musing before getting up and as I  dressed of Miss Walker. I think we should be happy together, I should gently lead her into my own ways  and soon be really attached to her to the exclusion of all care for anyone else. From 2 to 3 10/.. asleep in the hut  or rather, the last twenty five minutes  incurred a cross thinking of Miss Walker . I shall think myself into being in love with her, I am already  persuaded I like her quite well enough for comfort  –  home at 3 1/2 meaning to write letters –  talking for 2 or 3 minutes to Marian when a company rap at the door, and Miss Walker shewn into the drawing room   her call seemed to be on my aunt – sat about 1/2 hour, and I then walked back with her down the walk –   she asked if I had got her note – no! then explained that she had come to ask my advice about her tenant   Collins having forced open the barn doors, opening into her court yard – this matter settled we sat  down in the hut for about 3/4 hour til

Wednesday 26th September 1832 Incurred a cross thinking of Miss Walker. Then called to inquire if Miss  Walker was returned – yes! last night – sat with her from 12 50/.. to 2 20/.. – she had brought me   a presse-papier from the marble works at Kendal –   Very civil our conversation,  quite confidential and we really get on very well, yet she said she could not go to Italy. T hey give old Washington seventy pounds a year and young ditto the same for the manage ment of the property –  Went in to my aunt – found Miss Walker’s servant had been for her books  came upstairs and wrote a note to go with them by John tonight – dated 5 1/2 p.m Wednesday 26 September  ‘Ten thousand apologies’ – know what a disappointment this sort of thing is about books – sorry  and annoyed – thinks – ‘May I keep Paris a little longer’ … ‘I found myself very busy  on my return, from having played truant so unexpectedly long with you – besides, you  always give me so much to think of afterwards, that it

Friday 7th September 1832 Incurred a cross last night thinking of Miss Walker. Nice civil  kind note from Miss Walker – she goes on Monday with Miss (Catherine) Rawson – to sleep that  night at [Bowness] and then next (Tuesday) at Keswick and thus (she says) see 7 lakes before getting to  Wastdale –   I think we shall get on together, she feel satisfied at having called at  Pyenest and grateful to me for persuading her to do so. I wonder if I can at all  mould her to my own way –  Saturday 8th September 1832 Then walked to  Lidgate in 1/4 hour – 10 minutes with Miss Walker going off to Huddersfield at 12 – thanked her for her  note and [London]   Very good friends then. Original diary page: https://www.catalogue.wyjs.org.uk/CalmView/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&id=CC00001%2f7%2f9%2f6%2f15%2f114&pos=1

Sunday 2nd September 1832 Till three and a half sewing watch pocket in new pelisse and putting stri ngs to petticoat and getting all ready to put on tomorrow to go with Miss Walker. Monday 3rd September 1832 Put on my new pelisse  1 st   time and off with Miss Walker who had been sitting 1/4 hour with my aunt at 11 50/.. – we  called and sat 35 minutes with Mrs and Miss Mary (banker) Briggs on the death of Mrs Rawdon Briggs –   then drove to Pye Nest – 1/2 hour there – then 25 minutes with Mrs Dyson Willow, found returned her call of thanks but then 3/4 hour at Throp’s   not intending to begin a regular visiting - looking at shrubs and flowers then called at the door each left our card and  particular inquires after Mrs Saltmarshe, and then made sundry shoppings and Miss Walker set me  down at our own gate at 5 1/2. Miss W and I  got on very well, she was not for going to Pyenest. she wed me a queer huffy letter she had had  from Mrs Edwards, would not call before November. I advis

Friday 31st August 1832 At Lidgate in  35 minutes at 9 20/.. – Miss Walker at home – sat with her near a couple of hours  then proposed going to  Cliff Hill – we sat 35 minutes with Miss Walker and then after having sauntered and looked about both before and aft[e]r  our call I left Miss Walker junior at her own gate about 1 and went to Lightcliffe – Mrs Priestley not at  home but found her at her school and sat about a couple of hours with her – got her to tell me what  creepers to have for my chaumiere – said how well Miss Walker and I got on together – had been at  Cliff Hill together – asked her to take me to call on Mrs Briggs the bankers wife, and to inquire for a  Highland servant for me – then got on to grave subjects – more unsettled than ever since the last 2 years -   death had broken in upon my plans – all my thoughts of a fixed companion frustrated – must have  someone – difficult to choose again –   She would and must be certain I meant poor Sibbella, Mrs P  said